Sunday, May 22, 2011

A new me

So I have been absent from this whole blog-posting thing for quite a while now. I simply didn't have the want to post anymore.

For the past two months, I have been in a crazy, depressed slump over not only losing my job but seeing how some of my closest friends acted in certain situations. I was annoyed, frustrated, sad, confused; basically every emotion you think you would go through. I think I have cried almost every day since I got the news about my job.

With me losing my job, I suddenly started in on save mode because I knew there weren't anymore teaching opportunities here or anywhere remotely close. We would have to move. So that was my mind set and plan, try and get over it and move on. I couldn't though... I finally scored my DREAM job which was teaching kindergarten and you know what? I think I did a pretty damn good job with my kiddos. Frustration set in when you see that the higher-ups don't see that which is sad because it is EDUCATION. You should have the better ones stay! Enough about that though, I could probably go on for days about that. Like I said though, I wasn't ready to leave. Yes the place we would have gone to had family and I have wanted to live there since forever, but teaching is what I absolutely love to do. I wanted at least two more years of it!! Every time I thought about not going back to my school next year, I would just break down. There was one little sliver of hope...  There was a Tax Ratification Election coming up and if it passed, we were promised our jobs back. Tiny sliver are the key words here. A lot of people were against it.

Then came our engagement party. Probably shouldn't even post about this but, hey, I am going to and if you don't like it, don't read it. I come here to vent sometimes :)

Kyle's parents were going to fly out and visit us and as a surprise, we flew Kyle's brother Randy out too since they hardly ever get to be together all at once with Kyle here and Randy off to college. So about three weeks before they came, I had the idea that we should have an engagement party then. The whole reason why we thought we would never have one was because everyone lived in different places. So since everyone was going to be here at once, why not? Well when we finally got all the details about it done, my mom sent out invitations. Everyone was telling me they were coming and basically my entire list had RSVP-ed yes. I knew my best friend and MOH! wouldn't be able to make it because she had a big day of her own!! She graduated college!!!

I was on cloud-9 about this party! Just what I needed to get rid of my no-job slump! It was finally something I was looking forward to and excited about.

Then I found out that I would be finding out the results of the election that was going to tell me whether I was getting my job back or not the night of the party. Potential party killer but I wasn't going to let it bother me. It was going to be our night. A time to celebrate with everyone we cared about!

About a week before the party is when people started calling me to tell me that they couldn't come. Literally everyone but my family and two of my bridesmaids cancelled. What really disappointed me were the excuses. Maybe it was selfish of me but I felt that I had the right to be. We were only ever going to celebrate this once and my closest friends didn't care. The saying I was told about seeing who your true friends are when you plan a wedding really is starting to show. Some of my friends were caught in their lies that day. So sad. Hopefully it gets better.

After talking to Kyle I felt better. The ones we cared about and who cared about us were there and we were still going to have fun. Though it was still in the back of my mind about my friends since they were texting me throughout the party trying to cover up their lies and make new excuses... It all went away when the election results came in.

On the night of our engagement party, I found out I would get my job back. :) A new light, finally.

Next celebration: I bought my wedding dress the next day. Its perfect <3

The week at school gave me a new life. I had parents, teachers and people I didn't even know come up to me and give me hugs and congratulations! I have even had a lot of parents ask if I could teach their child next year. All of this was amazing. I can't even put into words how happy I am and how great it feels.

I officially signed my contract on Thursday and have had a whole new attitude since then. I can't let all these other problems bother me. I got back a very important part of myself last week so I am not going to let all this other junk get me down.

Here I sit with a glass of wine, which is so not me, typing away as happy as can be. Time to start sharing again and being happy!!! Things are going to be amazing from here on out.

Now, off to make some bomb-ass homemade lasagna for my man.

1 comment:

  1. Ashley I'm so happy for you and glad everything worked out! You deserved it :D